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Vicki Lansky
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It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear: A Read-Together Book for Parents and Young Children During Divorce (Lansky, Vicki) Hardcover – Picture Book, December 17, 1997

by Vicki Lansky (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 260 ratings
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KoKo bear learns what divorce means, how to deal with changes and how to recognize and deal with feelings
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  1. Reading age
    3 - 7 years, from customers
  2. Print length
    32 pages
  3. Language
    English
  4. Grade level
    1 - 2
  5. Dimensions
    8 x 0.25 x 8 inches
  6. Publisher
    Book Peddlers, The
  7. Publication date
    December 17, 1997
  8. ISBN-10
    0916773469
  9. ISBN-13
    978-0916773465
  10. See all details
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New in teachers' picks. More children's books by grade. New in teachers' picks. More children's books by grade.

Editorial Reviews

From School Library Journal

PreSchool-Grade 2AKoKo Bear's parents are getting divorced, and the cub must go through many adjustments and deal with a wide range of emotions: anger, guilt, confusion, and sadness. At every step, MaMa and PaPa are helpful, understanding, and supportive. In fact, Lansky's introduction for parents notes that adults might think they "are unrealistically polite and even-tempered." However, this is a book with a purpose, and as such, plot and character take a backseat to message. Below each block of text are comments and suggestions for adults to deal with issues raised by that section of the story. The illustrations are similarly low-key and pleasant, adding to the overall sense of well being. As bibliotherapy, this book serves a purpose. It might be shelved with the author's Divorce Book for Parents (Book Peddlers, 1991) as well as in the juvenile section.AKathy Piehl, Mankato State University, MN
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Book Peddlers, The; First Edition (December 17, 1997)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 32 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0916773469
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0916773465
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 3 - 7 years, from customers
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ 1 - 2
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8.8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 8 x 0.25 x 8 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 260 ratings

About the author

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Vicki Lansky

Vicki Lansky

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Full content visible, double tap to read brief content.

Feed Me I'm Yours, my first book, began as a local fund raising cookbook in 1974 and turned me into an author. I thought it was the only book I'd ever write and then for a while, I thought that each new book would be my last. Was I wrong!

Along the way I also became a publisher. Feed Me I'm Yours was first published from my husband's and my home on Meadowbrook Lane (i.e., Meadowbrook Press). Our company grew very fast as we learned the publishing business. After our divorce 8 years later, I left Meadowbook Press with no plans of being a publisher again. However, as the books I wrote for others went out of print, I established my own imprint, Book Peddlers, which now publishes over half of my 30 titles...including (naturally) Vicki Lansky's Divorce Book for Parents.

When you write parenting books, everyone glances critically at your children. Thank goodness mine had the good grace to turn out well. Despite my mistakes (and they'll be the first to point them out) my thirty-something twosome have survived and thrived in spite of having had a "professional" mother. Lucky me!

I think my mother would be astonished to know that I give out cleaning and household advice to millions of people as a columnist for Family Circle magazine. After all, she 'not I' had made a career of homemaking. In 1988, when Family Circle asked me to be a contributing editor to their "Help" column, I was delighted. This would be a place for me to share "grown-up" tips. I was now moving beyond the days of needing to know that peanut butter removes gum from children's hair!

Writing about household hints has been more of an education than I ever dreamt. I'm often asked what my favorite tip is. Usually it's the one I've not heard before, which is what keeps my work so interesting. My books on Baking Soda tips and Vinegar tips have sold in the hundreds of thousands copies. Amazing. How lucky I am to be able to share so many helpful ideas...and it is good, clean FUN too.

Recently we have had most of my titles made available in eBook format.

I'm not sure of my next projects as I've decided to cut back a bit on my book life and work a little more on just my life. But I'm never far from my computer and I know there are idea gremlins scrambling around my brain waiting to escape. Stay tuned.....

For more about Vicki Lansky look her up on Wikipedia.(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vicki_Lansky)

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
260 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Kelly Irene
5.0 out of 5 stars Great for kids and parents alike
Reviewed in the United States on June 1, 2017
Verified Purchase
Our therapist recommended this book for my young children (5 and 7). They each responded differently, but for both it was a great way to engage them in conversation in an empathetic, understanding, and open way. They so related with Koko Bear and his feelings in the book and were able to identify some of their own feelings through reading it. My 5 year old has asked to read this many times while my 7 prefers not to...not because she doesn't like the book but because it does bring up feelings that are difficult for anyone--especially a youngster--to process. If you know children affected by divorce, this book is definitely worth reading with them.
There are also helpful tips on each page for parents. Ideas to help children process, ways to talk about the new realities we all experience through divorce, and conversation starters to talk to kids in a non-threatening, nonjudgmental, emotionally safe manner.
3 people found this helpful
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new around here
5.0 out of 5 stars outstanding resource
Reviewed in the United States on November 22, 2010
Verified Purchase
This is, hands down, the best resource I've purchased to help my daughter handle the divorce we're going through. Her dad left our home a few months ago and I had no idea of how to begin handling the aftermath. Luckily a friend passed along information about a great co-parenting class, and the facilitator took time to highlight this book on the resource list for participants. It really does help, and with all of my own emotional upheaval and the new responsibilities that come with spousal abandonment and divorce, I need all the help I can get! I'm amazed and thrilled to see my 5-yr old daughter's strength flow back a little more each time we read it. The message and approach are right on target for her emotional needs. Sometimes I think the doll is somewhat unnecessary, but the book itself has been a lifesaver.
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Ecstatic Executive
5.0 out of 5 stars Great resource for divorcing parents
Reviewed in the United States on December 11, 2013
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During my divorce, my kids seemed to be adjusting well, at least in the beginning. As time went on however, they struggled with the idea of divorce so I picked up this book and a few others. This is a great book for the younger ones (mine were 4 and 6 at the time). It really speaks to their guilt over things they think they could have done to stop it, and gives you as the parent a great way to start the conversations that are so important, yet so hard to have. Their Dad and I shared this book from house to house, and in time, the girls didn't need it anymore. I have since given it to a friend to help her situation.
7 people found this helpful
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ERIN
4.0 out of 5 stars My son is 4&1/2, and although the whole idea ...
Reviewed in the United States on June 8, 2018
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My son is 4&1/2, and although the whole idea of divorce is over his head, the concepts of being “a family apart”, not all family lives with you—like aunts & uncles reside in separate houses from you—but you are all still a family, and even though mom and dad are getting a divorce, no one is divorcing you, really resonated with him. The book broke down core concepts in a way he could understand what changes would occur. He asks to read it all the time. It has opened a dialogue about divorce, and has let my son know that he can ask me anything at any time as we work through the divorce.
2 people found this helpful
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NessaBug
5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful book,lots of help
Reviewed in the United States on February 5, 2012
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This book was great! When we spoke to our son about the upcoming Divorce, he got upset this was one of the books we used to help him understand. WE read this book and he asked questions, told us how he felt, and then took it to school to help tell his friends. He also asked if he was allowed to let a friend borrow it, " Cause he is hurting and needs to know it is not his fault too". My whole family loves this book, It helped our son identify his feeling and know that they were Ok, that he was "allowed" to be upset, and that the divorce would become "normal" to him in the months to come.
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Linda D. Gentile
5.0 out of 5 stars Fantastic!
Reviewed in the United States on April 7, 2014
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Bought this for my nephew, even though his parents are not divorced. My nephew just had all the other 'Koko" books by Vicki Lansky & wanted this one too. It's very well written & I believe would help any child cope with a divorce in the family. Well worth the money! And check out her other Koko story books, like potty training, babysitters, etc. All fun!
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keeks62
3.0 out of 5 stars I love the message of this book
Reviewed in the United States on January 27, 2016
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I love the message of this book, but it is loooooonnnggg for a children's book. I have 4 yo twins and it didn't hold their interest. I ordered this along with a few other books, and found those to be a bit better.
One person found this helpful
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Mary
5.0 out of 5 stars Helped our grandchildren
Reviewed in the United States on April 16, 2014
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This book is a sensitive way to broach the subject of divorce or separation with young children. I bought it for my daughter and son-in-law to use when telling my 4 year old granddaughter about their divorce. No doubt it was the hardest day of their lives to tell her, but the story is understandable for a young child. She still broke down and cried, she still begged that they not get divorced, but my daughter keeps reminding her of the "puzzle pieces" from the story which don't fit together no matter how hard you try.
One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

C. D. Mitchell
5.0 out of 5 stars It says it so well
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 20, 2014
Verified Purchase
When you drop the D-bomb on your kids there is an empty silence that this book managed to fill. We were able to move on from that hideous conversation to a simple story about a bear who didn't understand either. I was able to point to pictures of how I felt and she pointed to pictures of how she felt too. Dad was able to get involved too and we were able to express our sadness as a family. This was happening to all of us. If you're considering buying this book, may I say how sorry I am that this has happened to you too.
20 people found this helpful
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Matthew H.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great for talking about feelings.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on February 29, 2016
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A great book to introduce divorce to a child whose parents have split. Heartbreaking to have to read this book to my granddaughter but it helped us to discuss a day when feelings could be talked about and checked like Koko bear does. Mama bear in the first page looks a bit masculine and it made it hard for her to decipher which one was which but later on Mama bear is in a skirt.
2 people found this helpful
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S. Taylor
4.0 out of 5 stars Useful for encouraging discussion
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on July 27, 2011
Verified Purchase
I bought this book for my 9 year old grand-daughter whose parents have recently separated. I particularly liked the question/discussion prompts and found it a useful tool for encouraging my grand-daughter to talk about her feelings about her situation. I also liked the fact that it covers a longer period of time after an immediate separation, so is able to explore other situations that might arise after the initial one. A really useful book!
2 people found this helpful
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wobbly legs
5.0 out of 5 stars Well used
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 20, 2013
Verified Purchase
Bought this book a few years ago now and have referred to it many a time when working with children experiencing separation/divorce. The reason I am writing this review now is that i am having to re-purchase it bacause ive lent our copy out to a parent, cant remember who and feel lost without it. Hadn't used it for a while but needed it the other day - got to get another one and will be making a note when it gets taken home. Would definitely recommend
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SL
5.0 out of 5 stars A great help
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on September 23, 2015
Verified Purchase
This has really helped us during a difficult time. I did change the word 'divorce' in the story as this wouldn't mean anything to my 4 year old. I just said separating instead as he would understand that. I thought it might be a little old for my son but it wasn't. We've read it several times. For those looking for books along these lines 'two homes' was great
One person found this helpful
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